The Evolution of your White elephant

A Self-image Surgery

Almost everyone that I have ever spoken to usually has a story about something that he/she experienced (before turning about 20) that had had a monumental impact on his (or her) life; that defines a significant part of his/her current personality or ‘who they are?’ and ‘what are they out to achieve?’

It could be a feeling of poverty in someone’s early life, that made him swear that he will never want to feel poor again; or a feeling of isolation that made him swear to have a million friends or; a feeling of being the less intelligent one in the room and hence, went on to master that very thing; or someone might have felt powerless and relentlessly went on to attain significant influence over the world…… The list can go on forever.

Most of us create this self-image of ourselves (the white elephant) during the peak defining moments/junctures that occur early on in our lives. With every passing year in the journey of life, these beliefs and systems (Our so-called strong sense of self-image) built around who we are and what we do and who we want to become, and how we make decisions and respond to situations, solidifies.

We usually continue using this solidified image of self as a guide to our long-term decision-making. It kind of transforms and integrates into our primal instincts.

The best part about this clarity of thought or instinct super-powered by the self-image helps many rapidly attain success and wealth. They are clear with what they want and how they see themselves. This defined image also has immense value because that success and reputation are usually riding on it. This, according to me is good news and if one needs to grow fast and be successful; one needs to take this path.

Now is when things become interesting. When do you get to transform again and redefine or upgrade your self-image?

For Example; You felt poor when you were young, now you are rich and comfortable but your life decisions are still being taken from a resource-starved mindset. This is an oversimplified example to help the reader understand the point but the actual habits that are solidified usually are fairly nuanced and indirect.

OR let’s take the example of an entrepreneur who was an absolute hustler and builds his/her company ground up. 5 years later that company has 300 employees but he/she is still unwilling to delegate or build new systems. Do you think that such a company will be able to scale 50x unless the entrepreneur is able to shed his/her past self-image of being the scrappy hustler?

This is why many entrepreneurs are replaced by more experienced CEOs at some stage and this is why I have phenomenal respect for those entrepreneurs/leaders who can evolve with a company from a 10 member operation to a multi-billion dollar giant.

Try to see if you can list down the things that you do out of the sheer habit of your old self-image, but are no longer necessary in your new life. You will have to think really really hard.. only to realize that it’s not the things that come to your mind instinctively but the things that you strongly feel that make you who you are….. Those are the very things begging for change.

Hence, I feel that this journey with your stagnant self-image needs surgery or restructuring every decade or so or even quicker if you are on the path of hypergrowth. The true transformation of your self-image according to your current self is tougher than getting Elon musk to promote your new Crypto coin!

An interesting conversation that I had the other day was that this was one of those journeys where the change is nonlinear. What I mean to say is that some precise well-spoken words can penetrate you at a level at which 50 books and countless conversations might not. This surgery is possible only with desire and willingness to embark on this road and this willingness comes from within. No book or person can make you “feel the desire”.

Asking myself what is it that my current self-image really wants to achieve…. In order to avoid letting it overpower me and not let me realize that even though I have already achieved what I set out to achieve and still feel like I am nowhere close to the end line despite having surpassed it.

There is a popular story of an extremely wealthy self-made 50-year-old dentist who had 36 properties, working day and night and promises to change his profession when he has 50 properties. We all could guess when he finally did that.

The aim here is neither to eliminate desires nor to shy away from any other perks of success or power. It is to find a way to be more mindful of successes during the present moment and the ability to define new goals for an evolved self, regularly rather than trampling down the same direction for the rest of the life simply because of some inadequacies or pain that one felt many years ago. Now if I still choose to go down the same path it’s perfectly fine, as long as it’s done as a choice rather than unconscious trapping of life. The point is to be aware, of your current desires, and not let life decisions flow unconsciously.

Overall, the answers and the journey would be different for everyone however the theme or the problem statement seems to replicate.

See if you can upgrade your white elephant if you are against killing it!

Bonus pondering for those who powered through the article

What is satisfaction for you?

For me, Satisfaction is not = Happiness or comfort. Rather I look at it as a state of calm. A state where your muscles feel loose and relaxed, mind calm and clear, and a certain feeling for pride for self and you are present in the moment, fully aware.

What’s your definition?